The things I wish I knew before I had sex 2.0
Navigating relationships, puberty, and sexual encounters is super confusing. Like is there a book or something which can tell me all the do’s and don’ts, tell me all the things I need to know before I start? Sadly, this isn’t a book with an exhaustive list of lessons, but here are a few key points I wish I knew before I started experimenting on my sexual journey.
How your body feels is way more important than how it looks. Pornography isn’t real and your bodies will roll, they will fold, and sometimes they will make weird noises, but this is all completely normal. Try to stay present in the moment and focus on your pleasure rather than on how you look!
Your pleasure is as equally important as your partner/s. Make sure to communicate your desires, wants and needs so your pleasure is being achieved.
Boundaries are super important and setting them at the start and during is okay and healthy. Again, communicate your needs and wants, but also state your boundaries; what are you willing to do and what aren’t you.
Your no is valid and if someone tries to convince you otherwise dump them! We have no room for coercive control in 2023, set boundaries.
Wifey material is made up and if anyone is shaming you for engaging in consensual, pleasurable sex you should dump them.
Your body count does not determine your worth!
Aftercare is important for all relationships including one-night stands. Make sure you treat yourself with care and get the aftercare you need.
There is no such thing as too much communication. Talk, laugh, explore, question, and have fun while communicating how you’re feeling and checking in with your partner/s.
Practicing safe sex includes more than just talking about birth control and protection. It also includes discussing your boundaries, what you want and what you’re not willing to do.
Sometimes we will do things that may bring shame or regret and that’s okay. Just remember to show yourself compassion and treat your emotions with care, you’re still learning. If you do ever experience this, we do recommend you reach out for support and talk to someone, as your experiences and emotions are valid.
By Alexis Pallister
