Let’s Talk Sexual Coercion
What is sexual coercion?
Sexual coercion refers to the unwanted sexual activity that happens after being pressured or tricked into it. This often happens verbally as someone may try to make you do something you are not interested in by manipulating you with statements such as “If you stop, I’ll get blue balls” (Sorry pal, but blue balls aren't even a real condition!). It can also include being worn down by someone or being lied to. Sexual coercion even includes when someone in a position of authority pressures you into something based on their influence. It is important to remember that a forced yes is NOT a consensual yes. For a person to give informed consent it must be done so FREELY (free from manipulations, threats, violence, and coercion).
Examples may look like …
“But you got me all worked up by making out with me, please!”
“If you stop, I’ll get blue balls.”
“Oh, come on, it’s my birthday.”
“You’re just so good looking, it’s hard for me to stop.”
"If you really loved me ... you would.”
Another important thing to remember is that consent is the same across all situations, meaning one must gain consent in relationships as well. Sexual intercourse is never something that should be assumed and under no circumstance should your partner try to coerce you with statements about your love!
How can I stop something from leading into non-consensual activities?
Firstly, I just want to remind everyone that sexual coercion is never your fault as the victim, it is always on the person trying to coerce and it is a really awful thing to have to happen to you. If you notice someone trying to coerce you into something you are not interested in, if it is safe to do so, speak up. And remember you don’t owe them an explanation. You can simply say “I’ve changed my mind; I am going to leave”. This brings us to my next suggestion, once again if it is safe to do so, leave. Even if they are your partner, you have every right to remove yourself from the situation again without any explanation required.
Sexual coercion is never okay. Remember you must always gain freely given consent as without it a crime has been committed. And lastly, you have complete autonomy over your body, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do!
By Alexis Pallister
