Surviving Heartbreak
Content warning: Explicit language used.
Breakups suckkkkk, and there’s just no avoiding that. Your whole life is thrown as you start to fumble your way through what it means to be single, constantly overthinking and trying to figure out ways in which you can 'glow' up. Although mostly awful, breakups do prompt growth as you learn to love and forgive yourself. So, the million-dollar question is how we get to the healing part, the part which forces us to reflect, gain clarity and grow stronger? Now look I’m no expert on breakups, but recently I had my heartbroken. And while I tried to put the pieces back together, I was fortunate enough to gain some top tear advice from those around me, which I want to share with you. Now before you get stuck into reading, I just want to remind you how strong you are and how proud I am of you for making it this far … you got this!
(1). First of all, remove their presence from your life including your virtual space. Takedown the photos, remove their old hoodies and anything else which resembles them. Now depending on how the relationship ended you have two choices 1. Burn it or 2. Put it all in a box under your bed, or somewhere where you don’t need to look at it all the time. Moving on is hard and there’s no expectation for you to throw all their stuff out just yet … but of course, if they were trash go right ahead! It is also important to practice self-care on your social media platforms, is following your ex really going to allow space for you to heal? Most likely not, so remove them, hey even block them if necessary (at least this way you can’t sad stalk them!).
(2). Let all your emotions out. You must acknowledge and validate your feelings. Cry, laugh, scream just let it all out because bottling it all up will do much more damage than good! If you’re not a screamer that's okay, there are loads of other ways to let out your emotions, one is journaling. Every day write down your feelings and watch your progress as you begin to heal.
(3). Do something you love! Read something empowering, take a pottery class, go for a hike, go swimming at the beach; just do something which will spark joy and make it a habit. For me that was reading, I would wake up early every morning and read before I started my day. Now not only did this activate me cognitively, but it filled me with joy, and I felt prepared to take on the challenges of the day.
(4). Surround yourself with incredible, like-minded, and supportive people. Whether that be friends or family, having a supportive person or people will help immensely. Be honest with these people, tell them what you need and how you feel. And most importantly begin to make new memories with them. Life shouldn’t have to stop just because you’re hurting. Take it easy of course but try to do something you love with someone you love.
(5). Remember how amazing you are. This one may seem a little corny, but it is so vitally important. Make a list of all the things you love about yourself and remind yourself that you rock! Now make another list of all the things that you are thankful for, to remind yourself that just because you are single your life is still pretty rad!
(6). This last one is inspired by the most incredible book for breakups: F*** off and die. If all else fails, burn it all. Download this book (it's only $10 for the eBook and trust me it will help you beyond words), complete the activities, then burn the pages. Letting go is difficult and sometimes to feel the relief you need to do something drastic, in this case burning a book!
I know right now it’s hard and it may take some time before you begin to feel better, but I promise you will. You are strong, you are amazing, and I am so proud of your progress. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually, the aching will disappear. But for right now, I am sending you all my love and a big virtual hug, you can do this!
By Alexis Pallister
Link to the above-mentioned book:
https://www.fodbook.com/shop/book/fuck-off-die-ebook/
