"I'm not like the other girls"

Have you ever heard someone say, “I’m not like the other girls”. Or perhaps you have heard someone recite the statement to you, about you, “You’re not like other girls”. What do these statements say about women and what message is being conveyed when statements like this one are so frequently thrown around.

The statement “I’m not like other girls” or “You’re not like other girls” is built on gender norms and perpetuates an outdated view of gender. It works to separate women, put them down and shun them. The statement assumes what women’s interests are. It assumes to know the mainstream language and behaviour exerted by women, stating anything out of that stereotype is somehow a positive thing. You often hear the statement used to ‘compliment’ women who excel in sport or can drive a car really well. But why is that just because I am a woman, it is assumed I will have little interest in sport or be a bad driver? Gendered stereotypes still infest our society and can often be seen through the use of uneducated statements such as the one above which weaponize language to segregate and oppress.

Furthermore, when this statement is used in an ‘I’ setting, for example, “I’m not like the other girls” concepts such as internalised misogyny and bargaining with the patriarchy can be seen. To be honest, I think this statement hurts the most when it is used in the form of an ‘I’ statement as it serves to bring other women down. By using this statement, women are saying they don’t fall under the typical stereotypes of what it means to be a woman without any real thought as to the consequences. Although they are only words, the meaning behind them can be used as a powerful tool used to further sexist thinking.

Women can be anything they want to be, say anything they want to say and behave however they please. And just because you play sport or don’t wear makeup does not mean you can’t be proud to be a woman and vice versa. Instead of falling prey to internalised misogyny stand up for other women, be proud to be a woman, and know that however you are is not defined by your gender. So next time you hear someone say this statement, question them, educate them, and empower them to own their womanhood.

By Alexis Pallister