Division of Domestic Labour and the Impact of Weaponised Incompetence
Do you think the domestic labour in your household is split evenly? If so, who does most of the ‘domestic’ tasks? Who does most of the ‘maintenance’ tasks? If not, who does the domestic labour role fall onto the men or women in your house?
As society has moved away from the traditional idea that men act as the primary breadwinners and women care for the home, navigating household labour has become a topic of frequent discussion. However, the statics suggest that even though women may have entered the workforce full-time they are still undertaking the majority of the household and domestic labour. Cooking and cleaning are still very much seen as roles in which women take responsibility for. Furthermore, even when tasks are divided women are often assigned to domestic tasks such as the homemaking chores, while men take on more maintenance tasks such as taking out the rubbish. These tasks are fundamentally different and although could be argued as equal in one sense, the time in which taken to complete the task ensures equality is not being achieved. Not to mention that women often take on the emotional burden of the family. They shoulder this emotional labour, as the gender expectation states in bold that women must act as the primary caregivers. Evidently, gender inequality in the home is prevalent leading me to the question…
As the role of women has changed, how can modern relationships ensure delegation of household tasks are equal?
Navigating the delegation of tasks can be a tricky one. Personally, watching my family grow up my mother has taken on all of the household tasks only recently starting to even discuss a more equal expectation of completing household chores. For so long it has just been the expectation that my mother, the wife, the woman would provide home-cooked meals, clean clothes, and an immaculate house. This is not to say my father is sexist in any way, I just feel as though society has put this pressure solely on women causing family dynamics to continue with an outdated template of what is deemed appropriate. And recognising this template is the first step to ensuring equality is being achieved on all fronts, including within the division of household chores.
Another important concept to recognise when looking at the gender differences in the home is weaponised incompetence. Weaponised incompetence helps the inequal layout of household chores continue and is key in helping navigate an equal future. So, what is it? Weaponised incompetence refers to a situation wherein a person pretends to be bad at doing something in order to get out of certain tasks. Have you ever heard people say, “Oh, she is just better at doing it”? This sort of language is thrown around far too often in relation to household chores and helps unconsciously reinforce the unfair system in which women are left shouldering the majority of the housework. To challenge this false idea that household chores are gendered, we must first become aware of weaponised incompetence. Then we can begin to understand that in fact no one is born knowing how to clean a house or do domestic chores, they learn, just as you can, just as we all can.
This idea that people should take on different roles solely based on gender is outdated and quite frankly incorrect. Domestic labour and household chores should not fall all onto the women of the house. Acknowledging your own equality disparities in your own household is the first step to demanding equality. By becoming aware of your own family dynamics, just as my mother has, a conversation can be started in which chores can be appropriately divided not on gender but on time and effort required for the tasks.
Gender expectations are outdated and just because you are a woman, does not mean you should burden all the domestic labour alone, especially in a household where both parties are working full-time. Divide the labour equally and demand others not utilise weaponised incompetence to avoid particular tasks.
By Alexis Pallister
Sources:
https://www.bustle.com/wellness/weaponized-incompetence-manipulation-tactic
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-08-31/division-of-domestic-labour-continues-to-land-heavily-on-women/100418942
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_an_unfair_division_of_labor_hurts_your_relationship
https://www.abs.gov.au/media-centre/media-releases/women-spent-more-time-men-unpaid-work-may