Changing the Narrative of Being Single
Growing up I always wanted a boyfriend, a prince charming, someone to sweep me off my feet and tell me I am beautiful and loved! I was like any other girl, I grew up watching Disney and reading romance novels, unconsciously being socialised to place my self-worth in having a partner. It took me a long time to understand that my self-worth is not determined by my relationship status, and I do not need a boyfriend to fill my emotional or physical desires. But if I am being honest this realisation was only recent. For years, I stayed in a toxic relationship just to try ‘fit in’ in high school, I mean how crazy is that! I was so scared of being alone, I stayed in something that actually made me unhappy. And when I was single, I felt so bad about myself, like no one loved me.
OKAY BUT HOW MESSED UP IS THAT?
Why is it that society deems being single as a bad thing? Why is it, as a woman if you tell someone you are single, they say ‘you better find someone soon, you don’t want to wait too long to have children? What if I don’t even want kids? I guess what I am trying to say is being single is great, it is fun and exciting. Of course, relationships also have their perks, but you should never feel like you are lesser than just because you aren’t in one. You can tell yourself you are beautiful, you can love yourself and you can fill all of your desires on your own!
The joys of being single.
Contrary to what all the movies will tell you being single is actually super fun. You can act on your own accord, you never need to consult anyone, and you never need to worry about what your partner is doing or what they think. You can do what you want, live your life exactly how you want with no compromise. Soak this up, because as soon as you are in a relationship compromising might become your life. Now as I said above, I am not trying to say being in a relationship is bad because they definitely do have their pro's. But I want to reinforce the idea that being single is not a bad thing. Once we change our mindsets and see being single as a time to rejoice, your goals will shift, and you will only settle down when you meet someone as incredible as you!
You are the only partner you need!
I challenge you to examine your views on what it means to be single and how you feel about yourself when you are single. Challenge these societal expectations and start setting your own goals, your own exceptions. You are the only partner you need!
You don’t need someone else to tell you you are beautiful, you are beautiful, tell yourself.
You don’t need someone else to tell you they love you, you are loved, tell yourself.
You don’t need someone else to fill your physical desires, you can do that yourself!
Let’s shift the narrative and start seeing being single as a time for personal growth, a time to explore who you want to be! And lastly, never settle for anything less than you deserve just to fit in with the crowd. Remember the grass is always greener on the other side and relationships are not the be-all, end-all.
By Alexis Pallister
