As a parent, how can I support my child going away on leavers?
Being a parent can have its challenges throughout every development stage and thus, the transition from high school into the workforce is no different. Navigating ways in which to support your child and prepare them for leavers can be tricky. Trying to teach them how to behave appropriately and drink responsibly is no doubt a struggle many have while helping their children pack for a week away of full-on partying.
A big question on parents minds, is how can I adequately prepare my child for their leavers holiday?
You can start by having open and honest discussions with your children about scenarios or situations which might occur while they are away. Having open communication within your relationship is super important to help create a space whereby scenarios can be explored, and questions answered. Now when we say have an open discussion, we don’t just mean tell them they can’t drink, or they can’t have sex. Instead inform them of the consequences and if they feel they must engage in some reckless behaviour, teach them how to stay safe.
It is also important you cover all the topics, not just drinking. Talk about sex, how to have safe sex and recommend they organise a form of contraception to be prepared (we always recommend condoms to prevent STI transmission). Approach the typically uncomfortable topic of sex from a sex-positive parenting point of view. This means you will move away from the once-off birds and bee’s talk, and instead explore what it means to have sex and how to do so in a safe and pleasurable manner. Also, explore consent and promote boundary setting as well as, fluid communication. If you still feel uneasy about having these conversations, that is okay. Instead check out our website as we have a range of blogs covering a broad base of topics which you can pass on for your child to read.
When having these potentially difficult topics it is important you show respect and create a safe environment for your child to explore. But don’t ask too many questions (you don’t want to be so invasive they shut down), instead let them know you are there for them and you are open to talk at any stage. This is also important when setting communication boundaries while they are away. Let them know that if they need you, they can always contact you or call. Your child is more likely to call you in an emergency situation if they know you will help them regardless, so make sure you make this clear that no matter what happens you will always be there. While you are setting communication boundaries, also organise a time you can call them to check in while they are away. Although it seems scary letting go, this independence they will learn while on leavers is vital and will start to set them up for the real world.
Another pro tip is to empower your child. Empower them to say no to peer pressure, say no to binge drinking, say no to drugs and say no to unwanted advances with a sexual partner. To help empower them you could role-play some suggested phrases, for example saying something like ‘No thanks, I’m not into drugs'. In terms of drinking a great tip my parents provided me with was to always hold a drink in my hand whether that be a soft drink or a juice. That way I was never offered or pressured into having an alcoholic drink.
I urge you when helping prepare your child for leavers you approach these difficult topics of drinking, drugs, and sex with a conversational approach. Instead of telling them what they can’t do (because they will probably do the opposite of what you say anyway), be open and honest about the consequences and how to stay safe. Get your child ready by helping them organise contraception, informing them on the laws around consent and drug-taking and buying them a big water bottle. Be there for them if they need you and answer questions honestly. Remember, leavers is a party week and that is exactly what they will be doing.
And lastly, trust your child. You have raised an incredible young person, trust that they will do the right thing.
By Alexis Pallister
