Women Vs Women

Have you ever slut-shamed another woman? Have you ever judged another woman for what she is wearing, for how much skin she is showing or how covered up she is? Have you ever called a woman a bitch for being unapologetically herself, for setting boundaries and being confident? Have you ever laughed, spread, or not believed another woman’s assault story? Have you ever purposefully tore another woman down to fit in or gain a seat at the table? Sadly, I have.

These acts can be referred to as bargaining with the patriarchy and are caused by internalised messages of sexism and misogyny - hatred or contempt for women or girls. The patriarchy feeds us lies, tell us that in order to climb the hierarchy we must exert power over other women. We must compete, shame, and even hate another woman simply to gain a seat at the table. But really, through shame and hate, no power comes. We are still left excluded, treated as lesser than and judged. Hating other women is a strategy implemented by the patriarchy to keep us oppressed, to create division and hate. Slut-shaming, gossiping, and victim-blaming are all ways in which our society tells us we will get ahead, but at what expense? And are we really even getting ahead?

Hating, judging, or competing with another woman will not get you ahead. This so-called power the patriarchy promises you is a lie and until women work together, appreciate, and support each other power will not be gained. The enemy is not other women, it is the patriarchy, which perpetuates a culture of oppression. And besides, there is enough room for all women to thrive without having to tear each other down.

But how can we stop this division and hate?

Become aware of the misogynistic and sexist messages shoved down your throat and challenge them every chance you get. Instead of tearing other women down, stand with them and encourage them. Instead of slut-shaming or victim-blaming, see them, hear them, and believe them. Be aware and challenge the stereotypical idea that to get ahead you must bargain, because you don’t. By actively challenging our natural instinct to bargain we can create unity, along with a culture which supports and respects women. Remember, there is enough room for all women to thrive, there’s no need to tear each other apart.

By Alexis Pallister