‘Wifey Material’

Isn’t it interesting in 2022, where so many are bucking trends and not getting married that a determinantal stereotype used to describe women such as ‘wifey material’ still lingers? In such a seemingly progressive world, sexual liberation is still lacking, and it seems that purity culture prevails once again. ‘Wifey material’ refers to slang that typically men use to describe a woman who possesses certain qualities such as modesty and is domesticated which would make her a 'good' wife. On the other side of the spectrum is a 'whore' and these woman are described as outspoken and promiscuous. This complex is referred to as the Madonna-Whore complex and stands to separate women into two categories, the Madonna (or wife) and the whore. The pure and the tainted. The one who is deserving of love, care, and respect while the other is simply only to be desired.

When I first learned of this complex, I was angry as it has created a hierarchal system to judge and divide women. But it wasn’t until I was told I would never be or possess the qualities deemed to make me a 'good' wife by some (let's be honest here) mediocre man that I truly began to understand the weight of this stereotype.

‘Wife material’ serves as a stereotype not simply to attack and shame, yet works to govern a women’s sexuality and autonomy she has over said sexuality. It endorses purity culture, a culture in which the sexual liberation of women is shunned and monitored. Furthermore, this misogynistic stereotype has remained prevalent in society as other misogynistic concepts work to protect purity culture such as ‘virginity’ – which as we all know is a sexist concept created to shame women.

The whole concept of marriage, in which the woman wears white to signal purity helps perpetuate this ‘wifey material’ stereotype, as the idea of a sexually liberated woman is linked with negative connotations. Like, somehow being sexually liberated is a negative thing? Women that don’t fit these traditional norms of what it means to be a ‘good’ woman; a women who cooks, cleans, obeys, is good with children, who doesn't have casual sex, are told they are not deserving of love, care, or respect. Isn’t this sad? As a society we preach this message, endorsing the continuous slut-shaming of women.

The important thing to remember is you can be anything you want to be, whether that be promiscuous, outspoken, loud or free because we are all deserving of love and respect regardless. I say throw the whole stereotype away. Throw out the checklist which is associated with being a ‘good’ woman and hey while we’re at it let's throw out the sexist beliefs which are deeply embedded in marriage. The term 'wifey material' has to go! You deserve love regardless of whether you fit into an outdated, misogynistic stereotype and you are deserving if you so choose to be someone's wife.

By Alexis Pallister

Sources:

https://www.bellesa.co/collective/277/the-madonna-whore-complex-its-more-common-than-you-think