Sex Education

What was your experience of sex education like?

Sex education for me, probably had to be one of the most confusing and uncomfortable times of my life. My education was extremely limited in what I was taught with consent being completely neglected. The main focus was the mechanics of sex, the anatomy and how to correctly place a condom on a penis or a banana in my experience. I was never educated about the autonomy I hold over my own body as a woman, or that sex should be pleasurable for all parties involved. Nope, instead I was traumatised and saw sex as something to be anxious and ashamed of.

What was your sex Ed experience like? Were you taught consent?

These are the questions we asked to women across WA who attended a range of different high schools. Heres what they said!

Megan, 21:
“The most important, integral part of sex is consent. Yet it was never mentioned in my experience of sex education in school? Horrifying. I felt my education on anything sex related was male focused. Why was I shown to put on a male condom, and not explained the side effects of the pill? Or taught romantic communication methods? Or advice on navigating your own sexuality? How about coercive manipulation techniques to be aware of? The focus needs to be shifted”

Ella, 22:

“No, I was never taught consent in high school, one reason for that may be due to the values of the school. As I attended a religious high school the aim for health education teachers was to preach abstinence and therefore consent was almost non-existent. Though I agree that schools should teach based on their values, schools must remain open to the idea that their students may not agree with those values and should therefore teach to the wider population.”

Robyn, 19:

"The ‘consent’ I was taught was a simple yes or no. I had a male sex Ed teacher so I can imagine that would have made a difference. But over the years and through certain situations I’ve been put in I can honestly say that consent is not a simple yes or no. So, no I don’t feel as though I was taught the real meaning of consent and I certainty was not made aware of the sly manipulation and convincing some people are willing to do just top sleep with you.”

Tia, 21:

"I went to a pretty strict catholic high school and while we did do health classes, we were never taught completely about sex, instead we were mainly taught anatomy. We were never taught consent directly; I mean it was mentioned in religion classes but as a ‘say no to sex until you are married’.”

Brooke, 22:

"Thinking back to sex education when I was in high school is sort of an indistinct memory. I can only briefly remember a single PowerPoint lecture we had explaining the legal age of consent, and the consequences involved. Majority of the lessons consisted of sexual anatomy, which is still important, but it’s shameful that consent was only considered worthy of a single session."

Grace, 20:

“When I was going through sex Ed classes at school, I remember being taught a lot about periods and period health and a few things to do with protection during sex. But they didn’t discuss consent in depth and what it actually means to have sex with someone. They taught this at such a young age by the time girls around me were having sex most of the topics discussed at younger ages were forgotten, consent being one of them.”

Maddie, 20:

"The topic of consent was covered through the ‘Tea Consent’ video where they juxtaposed asking someone if they would like a cup of tea to asking someone if they wanted consent. It wasn’t something that actually resonated with me and I couldn’t even recall the video until I asked friends to see if we actually even covered consent in sex Ed."

Chloe, 21:

“My first experience of sex Ed was originally at an international school in Thailand, but my first experience of sex Ed in Australia was at a private catholic school in Perth, and it was horrible! Sex was mentioned once by our P.E teacher and all they mentioned was how the teachings of contraception and sex before marriage were in direct competition with the teachings of the Pope and Catholicism. So, we were recommended to go home and practice putting condoms on bananas … I’m sorry what an actual joke! ...

Unfortunately, this seems to be a common theme across private religious schools in Perth and so I can understand why there are so many people who don’t use protection, who end up using porn as an education platform to learn about sex (which can lead to an inaccurate depiction of sex), or who don’t realise that consent is fluid and can be withdrawn at any moment. My last experience of sex Ed was in a public school where consent was briefly spoken about but by that time, I was stressed with school and ATAR that I did not pay much attention.

Emilie, 27:

"When we learnt sex Ed consent wasn’t a topic on its own, just something skimmed over during one of those once off sex-ed talks the sports teacher did in year 8. I learnt more from Dolly magazines and friends sisters than we did during the hour lesson we had at school!”

The statements above are alarming. Unbelievable even. Consent is clearly not being taught and even in cases where it is, it's basic or not being retained by those listening. How can consent not be being taught, when it is so fundamental to sex.

Did you know 1 in 6 women will experience sexual assault at some point in their life?

But this statistic is not really that surprising when we are not teaching consent or the autonomy and rights people have over their bodies. Sex education needs to be reinvented with consent at the forefront. Sexuality, gender, love, sexting, relationships, contraception and empowerment need to be discussed. Sexual violence against women is an epidemic and at the heart of it, is a system that refuses to provide the appropriate sexual education leaving our young to turn to porn for an education. And let me tell you right now, the education they are receiving from porn is completely backwards.

We need to make consent mandatory, improve our sex education and promote safe, healthy and pleasurable sex.

If you are a parent, teacher or child and want a better grasp of sex education check out our Let's Talk programs on our website. Our programs cover all things sex, from consent and periods to social media, sexting and relationships.

By Alexis Pallister

Statistics sourced from:

https://www.aihw.gov.au/getmedia/0375553f-0395-46cc-9574-d54c74fa601a/aihw-fdv-5.pdf.aspx?inline=true

https://www.abs.gov.au/articles/victims-sexual-assault-time-report-and-age-incident#sexual-assault-and-time-to-report