Consent Myth or Fact?

Trigger warning the following article discusses sexual consent.

Let’s recap, what is consent?

Consent refers to the permission we ask for and provide for a range of situtations, this also includes sexual consent. Consensual sex is when both parties are of legal age, agree to engage in intercourse by choice, and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice. The key word to remember when it comes to consent is freely, a person must decide to engage in a behaviour or act on their own accord free from threats, coercion, and manipulation.

Myth or Fact?

Myth: Consent is automatically given if you are in a relationship with someone.

Fact: Consent laws are no different between strangers, people who are dating or people who are married. Just because you are dating someone does not mean consent is atomically given, although the way you may ask for consent may change as you have been with someone for a while you still have to ask for consent every time!

Myth: You can give consent under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Fact: You cannot give consent under the influence of drugs or alcohol. The law states that when someone is substantially affected (meaning they are visibly intoxicated) they can no longer give consent.

Myth: A 19 year old cannot have sex with a 16 year old.

Fact: The legal age to consent to sex in WA is 16 and so a 16 and a 19 year old can legally have sex as long as that 19 year old is not in a position of power for example, a tutor, sporting coach or manager. If they were in a position of power both parties need to wait until they are over the age of 18 before they can consent.

Myth: I originally said no, and my partner convinced me to say yes but technically I said yes so that’s consent.

Fact: This is called sexual coercion and refers to unwanted sexual activity that happens after being pressured in nonphysical ways such as ‘’If you really loved me, you’d do it”. If this does happen to you, please remember it is not your fault and reach out for support!

Myth: Yes, always means yes.

Fact: Yes, does not always mean yes because sometimes we can be coerced into doing something we are not 100% certain on. It is important when you are asking for consent to really listen and observe what your partner/s is saying to ensure you are not just hearing what you want to hear.

Myth: You only need consent for penetrative sex.

Fact: There are many different ways to have sex that may not include penetration and so it is important to get consent for any sexual activity you are doing, that includes kissing too!

Myth: You can’t take consent back whilst in the moment.

Fact: You have the right to take back consent and say no at any point during the interaction. Just because you may have said yes to something at the start does not mean you aren’t allowed to change your mind.

Myth: Consent is only related to sex.

Fact: Wrong! Consent is foundational for many of our interactions, think of it as asking for permission and think of how often we do that! Understanding consent is important not only for sexual purposes but for life to ensure your boundaries are not being crossed.

Here are a few key things to remember when it comes to consent:

Consent should be freely given; it is reversible meaning you can withdraw your consent at any time (and I mean any time). Asking for consent isn’t a simple one-time thing, it is fluid and should be seen as a conversation throughout having sex. Consent must be informed and enthusiastic, remember, if it’s not a HECK YES, it’s a no! And lastly, consent must be specific, so you know exactly what you are consenting to before you begin. Consent also cannot be given under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and you must be 16 to consent to engage in sexual activities.

By Alexis Pallister